10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
and the numbe r 1 think in Golf that sounds dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
It was 1965 & an elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the Confessional, The man said: ‘Father … During World War II, a beautiful
Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.’
The priest replied: ‘That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.’
‘There is more to tell, Father… She started to repay me with sexual favors.
This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.’
The priest said, ‘That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. But two people under
those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.’
‘Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind.
I do have one more question.’
‘And what is that?’ asked the priest.
‘Should I tell her the war is over?”
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle – a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi .
That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening – red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze – perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the man started to get ‘those feelings’ again..
He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn’t had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, ‘Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?’