Posts Tagged ‘speeding ticket’
27
Jan

Slay.me Joke of the DayA Pennsylvania senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph down I-81, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down the highway, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Pennsylvania State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding–a reason I’ve never before heard–I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Pennsylvania State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

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12
Apr

Slay.me Joke of the DayA police motorcycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.

The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When he gets done with writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the ‘violator’ for his signature.
The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.

The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an asshole!”

Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his license and has hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;”Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?”

Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”

Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”

“Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”

“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”

“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”

“Aggressive and hostile?”

“Yes, Sir?

“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for Asshole?”

“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do!”

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