Slay.me

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.

The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water.  Would you like to buy a tie?

They are only $5.”

The Taliban shouted, “Idiot!  I do not need an over-priced tie.  I need water!  I should kill you, but I must find water first!”

“OK,” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me.  I will show you that I am bigger than that.  If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant.   It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”

Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead and said,

“Your brother won’t let me in without a tie!”

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy’s 18th birthday came ’round, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake.  Paddy stepped out of the boat … and nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Confused as well as furious, Paddy went to see his grandmother.

‘Grandma,’ he asked, “It’s my 18th birthday, so why can’t I walk ‘cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?”

Granny looked into Paddy’s troubled brown eyes and said, “That would be because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen.  You were born in August, you idiot.