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A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago

The little boy, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, ‘If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?’

The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, ‘If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?’

The busy flight attendant smiled and said, ‘Did your mother tell you to ask me?’

The boy said, ‘Yes, she did.’

“Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.  Ask her to explain that to you.’

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?”

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a man from Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.

……………………..One button at a time……

……… …………….. .No one moves………………

He removes his shirt…………….

Muscles ripple across his chest……….

……………………….She gasps………………………………

……………………..He whispers,…………………………

“Iron this…and then get me a beer.”

This is your Captain speaking …

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain ..Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto.

The weather ahead is good, so we  should have a smooth uneventful flight.  So sit back,relax and….. OH, MY GOD !

Silence followed!

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.

You should see the front of my pants!’

One Irish passenger yelled, ‘be jezis you should see the back of mine! ‘

_____

-Submitted by Ellae E – Thanks!