A truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
“What are you doing?” he says.
“I going to commit suicide,” she says.
“Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a blowjob.”
So, she does.
After she’s finished, the trucker says, “Wow! That’s a wasted talent. Why are you committing suicide?”.
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl……”
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago
The little boy, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, ‘If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?’
The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, ‘If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?’
The busy flight attendant smiled and said, ‘Did your mother tell you to ask me?’
The boy said, ‘Yes, she did.’
“Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Ask her to explain that to you.’
A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’
About 40 students raise their hands.
That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’
Three students raise their hands.
That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’
The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, ‘So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’
Ahmed replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”