Slay.me

Yo mama so dumb she tried to arrange m&ms in alphabetical order!

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady At the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells Her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can’t stand it anymore, takes her Complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks To file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks:

“What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”

The woman replies, “It’s Frank. The midget.”

A Pennsylvania senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph down I-81, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down the highway, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Pennsylvania State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding–a reason I’ve never before heard–I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Pennsylvania State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.