Slay.me

A Redneck buys a ticket  and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.

The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.”

To which the man replied, “No sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.

The Redneck said, “I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it.”

Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!”

A man in Tennessee had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded  to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene  as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked  the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, ‘I got a flat tare.’

The passerby asked, ‘But what’s with the flowers?’

The man responded, ‘When you break down they tell ya to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  Hey, it don’t make no sense to me neither.’