Slay.me

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; George, Dave and Susie.

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what’s natural for men and women to do..

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.

She felt having sex with both George and Dave  was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.

It was tragic, but George and  Dave managed to get through it. After a while,George and Dave ‘s resistance to nature’s urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.

Well, a couple more years went by and George and  Dave began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.

So, they buried Susie.

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on.

She went to her husband, a retired MARINE and asked, “Honey, do you remember this?”

He looked up from his newspaper and said “Yes dear, I  do.

You wore that same negligee the night we were married.”

She said, “Yes, that’s right.  Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

He nodded and said “Yes dear, I said, Oh baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.”

She giggled and said “That’s exactly what you said. So now it’s fifty years later,  and I’m  in the same negligee.

What do you have to say tonight?”

He looked her up and down and said, ” Mission Accomplished.”

A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret Store to purchase a negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price — the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she’s no dummy), ‘I have an idea, it’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing.

I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refunded for myself.

‘ She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose and another, then another…..

The husband says, ‘Good Grief! “You’d think for $500, they’d at least iron it!’

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon.