Slay.me

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come
over.

Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?

He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID Ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’

Richard grinned. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”

No,’ I replied.

‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T!!!

Needless to say I didn’t ask him again!

A social worker from a big city in Massachusetts recently transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. ‘Anybody home?’ she asked. ‘Yep,’ came a kid’s voice through the door.

‘Is your father there?’ asked the social worker.
‘Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,’ said the kid.

‘Well, is your mother there?’ persisted the social worker.
‘Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,’ said the kid.

‘But,’ protested the social worker, ‘are you never together as a family?’

‘Sure, but not here,’ said the kid through the door, this is our outhouse!”

A young Catholic man goes to confession and says, “Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.”

The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.”

Soon after, another man enters the confessional. “Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.”

This time the priest questions, “Who is Nookie Green?”

“A new woman in the neighborhood,” the sinner replies.

“Very well,” sighs the priest. “Go and say ten Hail “Mary’s.”

At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop dead gorgeous woman enters the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the Priest!

Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, “Is that Nookie Green?”

The bug-eyed altar boy can’t believe his ears but replies, “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes!”