Posts Tagged ‘barack obama’
21
Feb

The Queen Helps Barack Obama

Joke of the DayBarack Obama sits down with the Queen of England and asks her advice:

“Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?”

“Well,” said the Queen, “The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Obama frowned, and then asked, “But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen took a sip of champagne.

“Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch” The Queen pushed a button on her intercom.

“Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?”

Tony Blair walked into the room and said, “Yes, your Majesty?”

The Queen smiled and said, “Answer me this please Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered…”That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good.” said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden the same question.

“Joe, answer this for me.” “Your mother and your father have a child.

It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister.

Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” said Biden.

“Let me get back to you on that one.”

He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Frustrated, Biden went to work out in congressional gym and saw Paul Ryan there.

Biden went up to him and asked, “Hey Paul, see if you can answer this question.”

“Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?”

Paul Ryan answered, “That’s easy, it’s me!”

Biden smiled, and said, “Good answer Paul!”

Biden then, went back to speak with ‘president’ Obama.

“Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.”

“It’s Paul Ryan!”

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face,

“NO, You idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

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18
Nov

The Only Fair Way to do Layoffs

Slay.me Joke of the DayDear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change……I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

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27
Oct

George Bush and Barack Obama go for Haircuts!

Slay.me Joke of the DayGeorge Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, ‘No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.’

The second barber turned to Bush and said, ‘How about you sir ?’ Bush replied, ‘Go ahead; my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.’

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