Slay.me

Abie and Sadie had a religious goods store on Delancey Street on the lower east side of NYC. The neighborhood was changing. The Jews were moving to Westchester and the Hispanics were moving in.

“Abie, we have to move to Westchester ,” said Sadie.

“We can’t”, said Abie. “This neighborhood is our life. We’ve been here for thirty-three years. Maybe we can start stocking Catholic articles too.”

Sadie says, What? Catholic articles? Bistu in gantzen meshuggeh? We’re Jews. No Catholic articles!!!”

Well, a month passed and they sold nothing but two tallisim, three mezzuzahs and one set of tefillin. Now was the time to fish or cut bait. Sadie agreed that they had to stock Catholic articles, so she said to Abie, “OK, call that Catholic supply house on Park Avenue .”

Abie: “Hello, Catholic Supply House on Park Avenue ? This is Abie And Sadie’s on Delancey Street . I want 100 autographed pictures of the Pope, 200 of those beads – what do you call them, rosaries? 500 crucifixes… and I need those things here tomorrow.”

“OK, Sir. I got your order. Let me read it back. 100 autographed pictures of the Pope, 200 sets of rosaries and 500 crucifixes. But, tomorrow we don’t deliver… …it’s Shabbos.”

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm..

Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi. The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:

‘Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you.

That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm..’

They go home and follow the Rabbi’s advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.

‘Okay,’ he says to the husband, ‘Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.’

Once again, they follow the Rabbi’s advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel.

The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,

‘See that, you schmuck? THAT’S how you wave a towel!!

Moishe (the father)  says to his son: “I want you to marry a girl of my choice”. The son  says: “I will choose my own bride”.

Moishe says: “But the girl is  Bill Gates’ daughter”.
The son answers: “Well, in that case, yes  ok”.

Moishe then approaches Bill Gates and says: “I have a  husband for your daughter”.
Bill Gates answers: “But my daughter is too  young to get married”!

Moishe says: “But this young man is a  vice-president of the World Bank”.

Bill Gates answers: “Ah, in that  case, yes ok”.

Finally Moishe goes to see the president of  the World Bank. Moishe says: “I have a young man to be recommended as  a vice-president”.

The president answers: “But I already have  more vice-presidents than I need”.

Moishe says: “But  this young man is Bill Gates’ son-in-law”.

The President  answers: “Ah, in that case, yes ok.”

And that is how  successful Jews do business…