Posts Tagged ‘mice’
06
Jan

Slay.me Joke of the DayA cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, ‘You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.’

The cat thought for a minute and then said, ‘All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.’

God said, ‘Say no more.’ Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat

The mice said, ‘Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.’
God answered, ‘It is done.’ All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, ‘Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?’

The cat replied, ‘Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!’

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16
Sep

Slay.me Joke of the DayThree mice sit in a  bar. The first one brags, “I am one bad ass mouse! In my hood, we have huge mousetraps. I take the damn cheese out of all of them.”

The second one brags, “Well, I’m a bad ass mouse too. In my hood, I mix rat poison with my milk and chug it down every night before I go to bed.”

The third gets up and starts to leave. The other two mice both yell, “Hey chicken, where do you think you’re going?”

The third one replies, “Going home to screw the cat.”

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