Slay.me

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love
animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she’d asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, “Colonel Sanders”.

Guess where I am now…

Three mice sit in a  bar. The first one brags, “I am one bad ass mouse! In my hood, we have huge mousetraps. I take the damn cheese out of all of them.”

The second one brags, “Well, I’m a bad ass mouse too. In my hood, I mix rat poison with my milk and chug it down every night before I go to bed.”

The third gets up and starts to leave. The other two mice both yell, “Hey chicken, where do you think you’re going?”

The third one replies, “Going home to screw the cat.”