Posts Tagged ‘school’
28
Feb

Slay.me Joke of the DayA teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’

The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly…

‘I think the man would have said – ‘I’ll be a son of a bitch!! A talking pig!’

, , , , , , ,

30
Aug

Slay.me Joke of the DayOur teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love
animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she’d asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, “Colonel Sanders”.

Guess where I am now…

, , , ,

10
Oct

Slay.me Joke of the DayThe teacher gave her fifth  grade class an assignment:  Get their Parents to tell them a story with a  moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one,  began to tell their  stories… There were all the regular types of  stuff: spilled milk and pennies  saved. But then the teacher  realized, much to her dismay, that only Ernie
was  left.

‘Ernie, do you have a story to  share?’

‘Yes ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt  Patty . She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to  bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of  whiskey, a pistol, and a survival
knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the  bottle wouldn’t break, and  then her parachute landed her right in the  middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until  she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade  broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare  hands.’

‘Good Heavens,’ said the  horrified teacher. ‘What did your daddy tell you was the moral to  this horrible story?

‘Stay the hell away from Aunt  Patty  when she’s  been  drinking.

, , , ,