Slay.me

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.

The cow was wonderful.. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it.. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask their wise rabbi, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening. “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.”

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this cow from Minsk?”

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow.

“You are truly a wise rabbi,” they said. “How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?”

The rabbi answered sadly, “My wife is from Minsk.”

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.”

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought “that’s really not so bad.”

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, “New house, new madam, new girls.”

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman’s husband Keith came home from work. The bird looked at him and said,  “Hi Keith.”

A  chicken farmer went to a local bar…. Sat next  to a woman and ordered a glass of  champagne..

The woman perks up and says,  ‘How about that ??      I just ordered a glass of  champagne, too !!’

‘What a coincidence’ the  farmer says. ‘This is a special day for me…. I  am celebrating’

‘This is a special day  for me too, I am also celebrating !!’  says the woman.

‘What a coincidence !!’ says the  farmer.      As they clinked glasses the man asked,  ‘What are you celebrating ??’

‘My husband  and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant !!’

‘What a coincidence,’ says the  man. ‘I’m a chicken farmer and for years all of  my hens were infertile, but today they are all  laying fertilized eggs.’

‘That’s great!’  says the woman. ‘How did your chickens become  fertile ??’

‘I used a different cock,’ he  replied.

The woman smiled and said, ‘What  a coincidence.’