Archive for the ‘Golf Jokes’ Category

17
Apr

Two  women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed  directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one  of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the  ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man,  and immediately began to apologize.. ‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical  Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me, she told  him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man  replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping  his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed  her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened  his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage  for several long moments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?

Feels great, he  replied; but I still think my thumb’s broken!

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29
Nov

Four guys have been going on the same golf trip for many years.

This year, Ralph’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. And thus he calls his buddies and tells them the bad news.

Two days later, the other guys arrive at the resort to begin their yearly golf getaway. And of all things, they find Ralph sitting there with his clubs already set up on his cart.

“Dang Ralphie boy, how did you talk your missus into letting you go?”

“Well, yesterday evening, after my wife finished reading “Fifty Shades Of Gray,” she pulled me into our bedroom. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.”

Then she said, “Do whatever you want.”

“So, here I am!”

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11
Jul

A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already… I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!’

The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.” So the dentist asks him, “Which tooth is it sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth Honey, and show him……..”

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