Archive for the ‘Golf Jokes’ Category

04
Jun

Slay.me Joke of the DayThe room was full of pregnant women with their partners.  The class was in full swing.  The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.  Walking is especially beneficial.  It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.  Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

She looked at the men in the room, “and Gentlemen, remember — You’re in this together — It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.”

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

“Yes?” answered the Instructor.

“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??”

—- This kind of sensitivity just can’t be taught…..

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17
Apr

Two  women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed  directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one  of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the  ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man,  and immediately began to apologize.. ‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical  Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me, she told  him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man  replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping  his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed  her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened  his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage  for several long moments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?

Feels great, he  replied; but I still think my thumb’s broken!

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29
Nov

Four guys have been going on the same golf trip for many years.

This year, Ralph’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. And thus he calls his buddies and tells them the bad news.

Two days later, the other guys arrive at the resort to begin their yearly golf getaway. And of all things, they find Ralph sitting there with his clubs already set up on his cart.

“Dang Ralphie boy, how did you talk your missus into letting you go?”

“Well, yesterday evening, after my wife finished reading “Fifty Shades Of Gray,” she pulled me into our bedroom. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.”

Then she said, “Do whatever you want.”

“So, here I am!”

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