Slay.me

A nun’s habit was in desperate need of money, but none were willing to give them any donations. Things were so terrible for them that the Habit’s donkey couldn’t even farm anymore due to hunger. The nun who owned the donkey, even though she thought it was wrong, stooped to desperate measures.

Taking the last bit of food– a carrot– from the kitchen, she lead the donkey to the local track. She tied the carrot in front of the donkey and bet all the money she had on the beast. The donkey was so hungry that it ran after the carrot and won first place. The odds were so low on the Donkey that she walked away with thousands of dollars. The story made the front page.

Nun’s Ass wins First Place!

Upon seeing this, the local cardinal immedeately found the nun and told her that she had committed a grave sin by gambling, and that she should take care of the news headline. The nun went to the local press the next morning and talked to the editor about it. After a while, the editor agreed to print a story rectifying the situation. The papers the next morning read,

Cardinal is Disturbed upon seeing Nun’s Ass at the Track

Upon seeing this, the Cardinal was furious. He went to the nun and demanded that she get rid of the donkey at once. He didn’t care how. The nun, thinking that it could at least serve God by getting some money, sold it to a local farmer, who happened to be the brother of the editor-in-cheif. The papers the next morning read,

Nun Peddles Ass on Street Corner

The cardinal was found dead that afternoon of a heart attack.

Three nuns were attending a cubs baseball game.

Three men were sitting directly behind.

Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, “i think i’m going to move to utah.. There are only 100 nuns living there..”

Then the second guy spoke up and said, “i want to go to montana.. There are only 5o nuns living there..”

The third guy said, “i want to go to idaho.. There are only 25 nuns living there..”

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said,

“Why don’t you go to hell .. There aren’t any nuns there!”

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent.

Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamppost below.

Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. Sister Barbara,” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man’s attention and tossed it out the window to him The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a nod of his head, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her.. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“That’s the $8,000 you have coming, Sister,” he replied.

“Don’t Despair paid 80-to-1.”