Slay.me

Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2012 election year.

A Georgia Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk.  I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the total stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the southern congressman.  ‘How about global warming or universal health care’, and he smiles smugly.

OK, ‘ she said.  ‘Those could be interesting topics.  But let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass.  Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.  Why do you suppose that is?’

The southern legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’

To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don’t know shit?

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.  He has his food prepared for him.  He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365. His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.  For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.  If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.  He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.  He receives these accommodations absolutely free.  He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.  All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

Suddenly it hit me like a brick: holy s##t, my dog is a Democrat!