Archive for the ‘Jokes Submitted by Fans’ Category

04
Nov

Walmart Greeter Gets Fired

After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. Here’s what happened:

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Walmart.”

I then said, “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Don’t be f**ing stupid. Of course they aren’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’ s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”

I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn’t believe someone f**ked you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart.”

My Supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

By: Roger Banner

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25
Oct

Johnny and the Orange Juice

The pastor baptised Johnny and dipped his head in water 3 times. On the 3rd time he said: You are now baptised. You are a new creation the old creation is gone. No more drinking alcohol for you. Your new name is Jacob. Jacob went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Heineken, dipped it in water 3 times and said: You are a new creation. The old one is gone. You are now called Orange Juice

By: markiller512

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25
Oct

Sally Falls off the Swing

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

A: She had no arms!

Moments Later…

Q: Knock, KNOCK…

Who’s there?

A: Not Sally

By: Tyler